Andrey Pogudin's refusal to cease false and damaging claims, to pay court-ordered child support.

It is of the UTMOST importance to me, for my sake, and, even moreso, for my son's sake, that no one, absolutely no one on the face of this planet, is persuaded by Andrey Pogudin’s false and malicious claims that the reason he has not seen his beautiful son in over five years is because his son is a “missing” child and that I have been “in hiding” with his son for “over five years.”  This is a preposterous and deeply damaging LIE that Andrey Pogudin has today made clear he will continue to tell. It is a lie that has caused me more undue stress than I can put into words as I have tried my best to raise my son under circumstances that are simply intolerable.  It is a lie that has greatly interfered with the peace and comfort I am entitled to.  Most significantly, it is a lie that makes a mockery of the pain Andrey Pogudin’s son has experienced over the years of having no father in his life, as Andrey Pogudin chose to begin then to support a second family, chose to spend his time happily scaling mountains around the world. 

As anyone can easily ascertain, Andrey Pogudin has never come across as a man with a missing son over the many years he posed on the world’s mountain tops, smiling in photos he’s posted online for his son to see.  However, after over five years of severe neglect and cruel mistreatment, Andrey Pogudin’s brilliant and highly articulate son can very well express for himself the reasons he no longer wishes to have any contact with his father, a man who is now a total stranger – NOT because Andrey Pogudin’s son is missing, but because Andrey Pogudin simply chose not to see his son over years with NO regard for the impact this might have on his son’s emotional well-being, his self-image and his development from a little boy into a young man.  His son is entitled to respect, to love and kindness, and I will not let Andrey Pogudin carry on his sick charade any longer.   

A missing son has absolutely NOTHING to do with the reason Andrey Pogudin has chosen to so grossly neglect his parental responsibilities, even today insisting in a recorded call that he has paid his court-ordered child support (pursuant to an order arising from a lawsuit HE filed, NOT one I ever filed, so eager to be free of his abuse).  Andrey Pogudin refused to pay even ONE PENNY in child support for well over a year, and he currently owes THOUSANDS in unpaid child support for a son he has so cruelly neglected.  He also owes a very significant amount of money in interest after a lien was put into place, with no request made by me to do so, by the very judicial system he turned to in order to carry out nearly two years of obviously bogus litigation against me as I struggled to raise my precious son under circumstances that at times felt unbearable.  After Andrey Pogudin refused to respond to two court-issued warning letters about his ongoing failure to support his son, a judgment was issued against him.  This is a matter of public record and anyone anywhere is entitled to this information, as Andrey Pogudin, a man who claims to have an attorney representing him, is well aware. 

On what basis might Andrey Pogudin feel that such an outrageous claim - that the mother of his son has been “in hiding” with his son for “over five years” - could be believed by anyone?  What would prompt a woman to go into hiding at all, let alone for so many years?  It is true that Andrey Pogudin was charged with domestic violence against me, two counts of assault, after he violently attacked me repeatedly in my newborn son’s presence, days after I gave birth, during what should have been the very happiest time of my life, a time I should have been able to cherish, during which I should have been able to bond in a healthy fashion with my very-wanted, perfect newborn son.  At that time, Andrey Pogudin falsely claimed that he was merely defending himself against a woman who just had a C-section, but no one from the London Metropolitan Police believed him, and the Crown Prosecution Service began a prosecution for assault.  It is also true that, because of the seriousness of the abuse, Andrey Pogudin was prevented from returning to his own home, one he shared with me, though I was at the time far too traumatized to seek a protective order myself (though I do have a copy of the provisions he was ordered to adhere to as he was being prosecuted).  I spent eight days at University College London Hospital with my newborn by my side, spending my first Mother’s Day in a hospital with bruises on my body.  

It is also true that while hospitalized, following this documented abuse, representatives from the American Embassy visited me and my newborn son in the hospital and were instrumental in securing an American passport for my son without Andrey Pogudin’s permission (otherwise normally required).  This was accomplished after both the University College London Hospital and the London Metropolitan Police were contacted by the U.S. State Department about Andrey Pogudin’s domestic violence in the presence of his son, and the necessary information was passed on to the American government in D.C..  This was accomplished by other concerned and deeply caring individuals while I laid in a hospital bed, with bruises on my body, bruises which were initially photographed by the London Metropolitan Police on the day Andrey Pogudin attacked me for a second time, days after I gave birth to his young son via a complicated C-section, still in too much pain following the surgery even to bend over.   

Much more could be detailed about Andrey Pogudin’s abuse, much more, but what is most important to stress here is that I did, after far too much effort, get away from Andrey Pogudin and, of course, I brought my son with me - LEGALLY.  Andrey Pogudin hired a London solicitor while he was being prosecuted by the Crown Prosecution Service to try to prevent me from moving from the U.K. with our son, claiming he’d attend family counseling (though every expert I consulted assured me any such counseling would be in vain).  He begged me to stay with him, telling me that “everyone has problems,” and that he loved me so much, even while he continued to be so deeply abusive on numerous occasions.  Leaving this man and bringing my precious son with me was the most important decision I have ever made in my entire life and I knew then it was in the best interests of our son,  a child who had been exposed to such a disturbing home environment – one that would be beyond foreign to him now.   

Perhaps it is this traumatic history of abuse that Andrey Pogudin relies upon as he continues to make false and damaging claims that I am “in hiding,” and that his son, even as I type this, is a “missing” child.  However, upon returning to the United States I felt confident that I would never again be subject to this man’s violence.  I have NO fear whatsoever that Andrey Pogudin will ever again put his hands on me, not in the United States, not in England, not anywhere.  While many women do go into “hiding” to escape abusive men, I feel no such need and I have every confidence that if I were ever subject to violence by this man again, he would face the most severe of penalties under the law.

So, despite your disturbing and well-documented history, I am not afraid of you, Andrey Pogudin, and I have no reason whatsoever to be “in hiding” with your son, despite your outrageous claims, claims you refuse to stop making.  Your son is no “missing” child and yet even today in a recorded call you have continued to carry on with such inflammatory lies after being repeatedly reminded that you’ve been given an address for your son, that your son’s contact address is readily available with the court - literally requiring under one minute to obtain, as I again confirmed with the Clerk’s office today.   But, once again, today, June 10, 2013, 16 MONTHS after you first claimed your son was a “missing” child (inexplicably, something never reported to the court, to the police, to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, to the U.S. State Department, as I spent a great deal of time personally confirming), OVER FIVE YEARS after you last laid eyes on your son, you persist in these false and malicious claims. 

While the court has on file a contact address for me and my son, even while Andrey Pogudin carried out repeated acts of documented violence against me in our son’s presence, Andrey Pogudin has himself refused to provide me or the court with a valid address.  He has refused to do so even after he carried out a lengthy lawsuit against me requesting, citing one example of many, the following:

Each Party agrees that the name, address, home telephone number and business telephone number of both Parties shall appear on all records relating to the minor child, including but not limited to school, camp, health care and child care.  The Parties to this Agreement have the right, superior to all Third Parties, to be contacted in case of illness or emergency.

Years ago, Andrey Pogudin changed his home address, his home telephone number and his mobile number – all with no notice to me.  So much for his deep concern for his son in the event of “illness or emergency” – would be laughable were it not so tragic, and Andrey Pogudin has consistently displayed a total lack of regard for his son’s well-being over many years.  He changed his contact details with absolutely no notice to me after he stopped paying child support pursuant to the order he petitioned a court to secure when he sued me.  I only found a mobile number for him after discovering a website, Carpe Diem, one created by Andrey Pogudin which touted his athletic prowess (Andrey Pogudin “is an excellent athlete, a keen boxer, a martial art [sic] fighter, a bike rider and a yachtsman”) in advance of an extravagant mountain-climbing  adventure in the Arctic.  Again, he planned for and carried out this expedition while his son was supposedly a “missing” child.  Further, via this website, and this is how I found a contact number for Andrey Pogudin, he was soliciting funds from individuals and companies for charitable work he was carrying out on behalf of children in need.  In a disturbing irony, one that proved too much for me to stomach, Andrey Pogudin carried out this well-publicized charitable work as he was in violation of the very court order he sued to obtain as a way to provide his son with money for food to eat, clothing to wear, a place to live.  He was raising funds for other men’s children, publicizing his good deeds, as he refused to pay child support for his own flesh and blood, leaving me in a tremendously difficult position, with no advance notice, as I raised our son on my own.  I had been in contact with Andrey Pogudin via email at that time, sending him a barrage of photos of our son, sharing a massive amount of detail about our son in many saved emails, above and beyond anything required of me (well documented), but he never provided me with the changes to his contact details and persisted in his refusal to pay even one penny in child support for approximately 18 months.

And why does Andrey Pogudin persist in his refusal to provide an address for me or another party to contact him on in the event of emergency, as he requested in a lawsuit filed against me?  Well, today, years after he changed his contact details, yet another spurious justification was put forth, one which resulted in my again documenting his false claims with the London Metropolitan Police.  Andrey Pogudin stated, in what can only be described as the pinnacle of irony, that I am “dangerous,” and that he is “very, very concerned about [his family].”  He further stated in this recorded call, “You are threatening and implying your threats …. I find this threatening to me and to my family.  I will consider, I will consider contacting the police.”  Par for the course with Andrey Pogudin.  The conversation continued, and I reminded Andrey Pogudin that his track record is well documented, reminded him of the false claims he made to the police, to social services about our son’s life being “in danger,” false claims that resulted in an investigation which devastated me but which yielded a determination that my son was VERY safe in my care, a determination bolstered by the testimony of concerned nurses and doctors well aware of my excellent care and deep love for my precious son.  (And let’s hope that Andrey Pogudin’s claims about me were false given that his son, whose life was “in danger,” has been raised by me and only me for all of these years that Andrey Pogudin has spent climbing his mountains and posing for online photos with his carefree smile.)  

I further reminded Andrey Pogudin that he is, as always, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” and a man who accepts no responsibility for his shameful actions while always trying to paint himself the victim.  I let him know I will contact the police myself about his claims that I am “dangerous” (already done) and that this is why he will not provide an address to me or to his son or to the court, despite the order he litigated for over a nearly two-year period.  Finally, I again reminded Andrey Pogudin that his further false allegations about me being “dangerous” have been recorded, and Andrey Pogudin replied, “You are tricking me.  You are tricking me into something.  I do not want to be recorded.”  I replied, “Well, that’s too bad.  When you’re making false allegations that I’m making threats to your family, everyone can hear this. I am recording you because you’re abusive and I’ve documented it …. If you’re on the phone with me, you’re recorded.  That’s my legal right and I am exercising it.”  Without the years of recordings I have with Andrey Pogudin, I wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on as Andrey Pogudin has persisted in his false and damaging accusations, his claims of my criminal conduct, as he has persisted in his well-documented abuse, and, most importantly, as Andrey Pogudin continued to carry out his extreme neglect of my beautiful son.  It’s all recorded.

So, where are we today?  Andrey Pogudin has claimed once more that his son is “missing” and this is why he has not been able to see him for “over five years.”  Again reminded in yet another recorded call today that his son’s address has been provided and that it is on file with the court (please see ample documentation of all of this said before, repeatedly, over a LENGTHY period of time: bestsonever.blogspot.com), he ONCE AGAIN stated that he will have his “solicitor” check on this.  While most parents with missing children would crawl across hot coals to see those children, Andrey Pogudin is plainly in no rush to obtain the elusive address that he has disingenuously held out as the one obstacle standing between him and a relationship with his “missing” son.  Five years with a missing son and, once again, he is claiming he’ll have his lawyer check on the address (when he could have done this for himself, as if it were at all necessary, in the span of a minute!).  His son received no Christmas present this past year, no birthday present this past February, a standing tradition with Andrey Pogudin, and, apparently, it is all because, after years of effort, hiring lawyers to assist him, Andrey Pogudin cannot secure an address that any stranger on the planet could obtain in under a minute’s time.  He persists in his false and damaging claims, and has now put forth further false claims to justify why he refuses to provide a contact address for himself, as required by the court order he sued to obtain. 

Andrey Pogudin, your lies are over, despite your sad and desperate persistence in a campaign of deception, a campaign that, it is my hope, will no longer fool anyone.  You will be held accountable.  You are a man I left years ago, a man I want nothing to do with, a man who has consistently refused to act in his son’s interests, and now a man my son wants nothing to do with, in light of your well-documented and long-term mistreatment of him.  (But that's likely a relief for you, a man who plainly hasn't wanted anything to do with his son in so many years - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!)  Your deeply damaging lies about me and my son will not be permitted to go on after you were given ample opportunity to cease and desist, but refused.  I never asked you for child support, never wanted my son to be the subject of your ongoing public litigation, but you persisted in a lawsuit against me only to then refuse to pay what I deem to be far too little in child support, far less than any caring father would provide for his son were he to have your investment banking income (separate and distinct from your investment income).  You are now thousands in arrears and this is unacceptable.

You were given every opportunity to be a good father to your son, every encouragement by me, as email after email makes clear.  You refused.  You continue to draw me and my son into your very disturbing world and it simply won’t be tolerated any longer.  My son won’t tolerate it.  I want to be 100% sure that everyone knows that Andrey Pogudin’s son is NOT missing and that the pain and turmoil Andrey Pogudin’s son endured for too long is OVER.  He is a bright, successful, compassionate, morally-upstanding and virtuous young man, despite what he has been put through, one who would NEVER conduct his life as you have chosen to conduct yours, Andrey Pogudin.  Much work has gone into assuring his self-esteem is intact despite your mistreatment of him, and he fully understands, far better than other children in his situation, that YOU, Andrey Pogudin, are the problem, NOT him.  He understands that no one has the right to treat him as you have treated him.  He is entitled to his public image, his own reputation without you dragging it through the mud with outrageous and scandalous false claims.  He is entitled to a sense of security and stability without having to be warned about the possible outcomes that he may face in light of false claims made by his father, a stranger, that he is “missing” and that his mother will be reported to the police for being “in hiding” with him.  I will never forgive you for what you have put our beautiful son through. 

Andrey Pogudin, you need to be held accountable and you need to be compelled to stop drawing me and my son into your messy circus of a life with your ongoing lies that have caused so much damage after years of inexcusable child neglect.  IT IS OVER AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE, MY SON WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE.